Do you know the Number One reason a person stays with their job? Do you know the Number One reason a person leaves their job? (Here's a hint:  Both questions have the same answer!)

Cue the drum roll, please.  The answer? Their boss.

I shared that fun fact at a recent speaking engagement and a visiting psychologist later stopped me to chat.  She asked me this:  “Do you know the Number One reason a person stays in their marriage?  And do you know the Number One reason people leave their marriage? The answer to both questions is their spouse."

Turns out things are no different at work or at home. Positive relationships with people you spend time with is crucial to your commitment to them.  But it's not just that person's presence that instills this dedication:  It's how they make you feel when you are with them.

I recall a story from noted business author and speaker Tom Peters called "The Million Dollar Mistake" that dramatizes this very point.  Mike worked at a bank and was given 18 months and one million dollars to develop a very important company project.  However, at the end of that schedule, the project failed to successfully deliver the anticipated results.

Mike was called in to a meeting with his boss, and felt certain he was to be terminated.

“I'm sure you intend to fire me,” Mike reluctantly said to his boss. “You gave me a huge assignment that cost the bank a lot of money and I basically blew it. I’ll go pack my things.”

As Mike turned his back and began to retreat from the office, his boss’s words stopped him.

“Are you kidding me?” the boss said.  The boss stood up, hands firmly placed on his desk.

“I just spent a million dollars on your education, " he said. "I’m not going to fire you. I’m going to promote you. I don’t want you taking elsewhere the knowledge and experience you've gained working on this project. I believe in you Mike. Now, get back to work. You have lots to do.”

Can you imagine what shifted in Mike’s mindset after hearing those words from his boss? Just when he thought he had made the biggest mistake of his life, he is given a promotion!  Even though the million dollars was not successfully utilized, his boss saw it from a completely different perspective. Despite what the employee perceived to be his colossal failure, his boss saw otherwise. To him, it was money well spent.

Because of his boss, Mike would now focus on giving his best to his employer. No doubt that million dollars would be returned exponentially in countless ways in the years ahead.

More importantly, Mike would most likely change his perspective on treating those under his responsibility, choosing to see the positive side of negative situations in all of his subsequent business encounters. For Mike, this was a genuine lesson in not only bringing out the best in another, but in how to be a great boss. Mike had learned how to confidently turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

When you bring out the best in others, their natural inclination is to do their best for you. They want to learn from you, be with you and buy from you. It works, time and time again. 


Let me hear your stories.  And please remember to connect with me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube and of course my website.  Thanks for reading!