My sister Jeannie told me this story about Mom and I think it sums up what Mom thought about “passion” in a marriage...

Jeannie and her husband had made some changes to their house and asked Mom to come down for a visit. During the tour of the new construction, they were walking through the master bathroom when Mom noticed Jeannie’s tattered flannel nightgown hanging on the hook behind the door.

Mom looked at that nightgown, then looked at Jeannie. “Jean Marie is that what you wear to bed with your husband?”

Jeannie nodded sheepishly, clearly embarrassed by the question. “Yes, Mom.”

“Jean Marie, let me give you some advice,” Mom said in a firm but controlled tone. “If you want to have a happy marriage you NEVER wear flannel to bed.”

Although Mom and Dad’s marriage could definitely be described as passionate and fiery, I assure you they weren’t always in the “no flannel zone.” In fact she could be pretty hard on him, prompting him to tell her at times that they’d get along better if she would treat him as if he were one of her children.

Dad was right; Mom would always celebrate our homecomings. Whenever any of us would arrive home from school Mom was there to wrap us in her arms and shower us with hugs and kisses. That was not always the case with Dad’s homecomings, where he would sometimes chide her by saying “Hey, what about me?”

Just because Mom didn’t always greet Dad in the same way she welcomed us kids, doesn’t mean she didn’t anticipate his arrival. Every evening around five o’clock Mom would splash on a little Shalimar Perfume and grab one of those pencils used to mark the packages at the meat market to fill in her brows.

Sometimes Mom would even put on some of the Mary Kay make-up she had bought from her friend Penny and she always clipped on a pair of earrings. Then she would have all of us kids line-up, kind of like the Von Trapp family, ready to give our Daddy plenty of hugs and kisses.

Those are my memories of Mom at her best with Dad. I might also add that Mom would be the first to admit that as a couple they also had some not so great times.

One time I told Mom about a couple I knew that was getting divorced. "What happened?" Mom asked.“I guess they are getting divorced because they have had a bad few years and can’t seem to get past it.” I speculated.

“A bad few years?” she asked indignantly. “That’s nothing! Your Father and I have had bad years - heck we have had bad decades but I would not trade the life we share now as parents, grandparents and great grandparents for anything in the world.”

Good decades, bad decades... I'd say that given the fact that Mom and Dad were married for over SIX decades and had ten kids, I think we can safely assume that there were plenty of nights when Mom followed her NO FLANNEL rule!